The most common joint replacement procedures – total knee replacement, with about 300,000 operations performed each year in the United States, and total hip replacement, performed about 190,000 times, are difficult operations that carry the same risks as any other major surgery. These risks include pain, fatigue and scarring that can last for a good while after the patient comes home from the hospital – and none of those things make a person want to jump right back into sexual activity.
On the other hand, sex is a valuable part of many adults’ emotional, spiritual and even physical health. It’s a very important part of most marriages, and – let’s face it – sex feels good! Is it possible that being able to return to sex might even make a total joint recipient feel better faster?
Recuperating from Surgery
For a patient who is relatively healthy and in good shape for surgery, after a routine procedure with no complications, the inpatient hospital stay is usually three to five days. He or she will then be referred to an inpatient rehabilitation hospital or sent home with orders for a home healthcare nurse to visit several times and for home physical therapy for the first two to three weeks.
Whether the knee replacement patient goes to inpatient rehab or straight home, he is not likely to feel well enough for sex for a couple of weeks. Each person is different, and no one can put an exact average number on such a personal and intimate question. But just consider the lasting effects of general anesthesia, blood loss during surgery, lack of sleep and regular food/routine while in the hospital, the fatigue of physical therapy and – last but certainly not least – the pain of surgery and recuperation.
Coping with Pain
Pain management for total joint replacement has come a long way in the last decade. Both healthcare providers and patients take pain management more seriously than they once did, and many new, innovative ways to relieve pain have been introduced. In fact, a patient who feels severe, uncontrolled pain after joint replacement should ask a doctor about it immediately, as it might be a sign of infection or other complication.
With that said, a major operation like this one will still cause a moderate amount of pain. Knee replacement patients report having some pain, especially after exercise or other activities, for three to six months after surgery. The pain can come along with fatigue, especially if it keeps the patient awake at night.
Talking It Out
The spouse or partner of a joint replacement patient may understandably be interested in getting back to a normal routine – including an active sex life – once the patient seems to be feeling better and getting more active. But it’s important not to push a loved one back into sexual activity too soon. The first step is to check with the surgeon about any restrictions on activity or sexual positions after joint surgery. Hip replacement patients in particular usually have certain restrictions that could affect sex.
After getting the surgeon’s OK, the patient and his/her partner should talk to one another. Is the patient ready? Does she feel energized enough for sex? Is she bothered by scars or bruising on her leg? Is she afraid of hurting herself or damaging the new joint? Partners are encouraged to discuss these issues and talk about when they will both be ready for intimacy again.
Start Slowly
There’s an old saying that the most important sexual organ is the brain. When it comes to both talking out the issues and being creative about sexuality, that could be true! If the joint replacement patient isn’t ready for sexual intercourse, soon after surgery, he or she might be ready for other types of intimacy. Sometimes holding one another, cuddling and kissing, watching a “naughty” movie together or pleasuring one another in other ways can bring great satisfaction to both partners.
These can be ways to ease back into sexual activity more slowly, bringing comfort back to the surgical patient and providing both partners with emotional satisfaction, too. As the patient continues to heal, the couple can try new positions and discuss other ways to return to their previous level of sexual activity.
When All Else Fails
If a previously sexually active couple is unable to return to intimacy after joint surgery, because of either partner’s physical pain or fear or emotional reluctance, they should consider going back to the surgeon for advice or a referral to a counselor. Sometimes it takes a little expert help to overcome the hurdles of a major surgical procedure – but with patience and love, most couples will succeed.
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